We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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