Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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