hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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