That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize