its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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