yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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