So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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