Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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