There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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