I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize