i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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