last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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