I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize