that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I want a musical about memes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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