I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize