Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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