are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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