Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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