You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
farters have to be the big spoon...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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