Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize