Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize