Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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