You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize