Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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