my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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