that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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