I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
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This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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