that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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