Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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