real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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