That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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