escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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