you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize