Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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