how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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