margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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