I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
they're like a gay fantastic four
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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