Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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