hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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