who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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