walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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