Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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