I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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