He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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