I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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