The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have so many feelings about this burrito
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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