dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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