She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize