ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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