My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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